Journal #5 – Essay Example

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The area that I was off course in my life involved the drug and substance abuse addiction. I became addicted to serious drugs like heroin and cocaine where I could operate normally without indulging them.
Being independent socially was one of the choices that I made in as long as getting off course was concerned. The main reason for this emanated immediately after a serious breakup with my childhood and long-term girlfriend whom I had a lot of trust and love. This situation really weighed me down and I felt neglected and desperate hence the decision to rely on strong drugs like heroin and cocaine for relieve.
Another choice that I made before venturing into abusing drugs was the meaningless life that I was leading without happiness. I felt completely lonely and did not see any value in life after being abandoned by a dear friend without any concrete explanation.
I had to accept the reality of life and fully let go of my childhood friend by encouraging and consoling myself that the departure of a dear one did not mean the end of one’s life. I also had to find some part time job to keep me busy during my free time. Another change I embraced in order to get back on course involved avoiding the peddler who supplied me with the drugs by relocating from my normal residential place to a different and far place.
Some of the challenges encountered while making these changes were: depression due to dependency on drugs, reluctancy to relocate from my matrimonial home, fear of loosing fellow drug addicts’ friends.
The personal strengths that saw me through the challenges included; self determination, perseverance, honesty, and a positive attitude.
Improved self esteem was one of the changes I witnessed as a result of my change from drug abuse. Prior to change my self esteem was very low as I hated myself very much and even wished to die as I considered my self a lesser being. Another change witnessed was improved appetite for food hence an increase in body weight.
My life would be full of agony and bleak if I had not made the changes by today. Probably I would be dead as I contemplated of committing suicide on several occasions particularly when under the influence of drugs.
Currently am off course in the area of socialization with friends. This is because of the suspicion I have with any person who might want to be my friend since the disappointment from the initial friend whom I had trusted fully. My desired outcome in any meaningful socialization is to establish a really and long lasting friendship ties.
Transforming young people who are deeply immersed into drug abuse is my goal number one and dream. I intend to do this by organizing interactive forums where we share experiences and come up with suggestions on how to quit the dangerous exercise.
Setting up a rehabilitation centre is still one furthest achievement not reached. Some of the off course choice I made was not to involve other entities like the organizations in the construction of the rehabilitation centre. Failure of setting up a rehabilitation centre could be in the looming if I do not change my choices hence accept reality and embrace change which is inevitable so as to achieve.